College drop-off will be here before you know it. First year students will be welcomed on campus in just two weeks. You’ve probably spent the last few weeks preparing, having send-offs with their friends, and, hopefully, squeezing in some family time. If this is your first student to college, we’re sharing some advice to prepare for drop-off.
What Students Want Parents to Know
I talked to some upperclass students and asked them what they remembered about their college drop-off day. Besides remembering that it was really hot and, for some, that there was a lack of help due to COVID restrictions, they said it was mostly good. No one admitted to a lot of tears. A few remembered being shocked at how small their room was. Here’s what they said they it would be good to know:
- Your student is nervous, too. Let them decide where to put things and how to arrange their bed, desk, and so on. Several students told me that drop-off day resulted in more tears from silly arguments than from the goodbye. This was mostly discourse over where to put things and how to arrange the room. So remember, let them lead you unless you are asked specifically for your advice. I’m sure you can hear the collective “whatever” already.
- Dad jokes aside, this is their first opportunity to meet their new peers. Try to not embarrass them. Don’t talk about why they should have the bed closest to the bathroom because they have a small bladder or whatever! Don’t insist that you go meet the resident advisor (RA) or exchange phone numbers with them. Also, don’t proclaim that your student “will never” do something – join Greek Life, drink underage, change their major, or so on.
- Don’t be a matchmaker – for friends or dates. Don’t introduce your student, talk about their interests, or set up “dates” for them. No one wants Mom or Dad arranging an outing for them on the first day of college. This includes with the cute student across the hall.
- Don’t plan on having lunch or dinner with your student or expect that. Now, your student may be happy to grab a bite to eat with you before you head out, but let them suggest it. One student told me he really just wanted to settle into his room and walk around with his roommate, but his parents insisted he go eat with them. This prolonged the goodbye and took some of the day’s excitement away for him.
Advice from Experienced Parents
Parents who have been through this said that it was harder than they thought it would be. Some even admitted that they wished they could go back and do it again. What they think you should know is below.
- Make a list. But know you’ll still forget something. Athens has a Walmart, but no Target or Kohl’s so plan accordingly. Remember to bring a small toolkit with you. A rubber mallet was suggested by more than one parent. Also, lots of command strips and hooks, GFCI power strips with long cords, some basic cleaning supplies, and, most of all, patience.
- The roommate. Be pleasant and encouraging. Don’t worry about becoming best friends with their parents. Roommate relationships can be a challenge. It’s best to stay neutral and friendly.
- Depending on your move-in time and distance from Athens, you probably had an early start. Focus on getting the car unloaded and out of the way for another students and their family. Take advantage of the move-in crew that is there to assist. Don’t try to be a hero and refuse help. You may be climbing a lot of steps as elevators, if the residence hall has one, can be difficult to grab.
- Smile. Laugh. Spending the time you have with your student in a state of sadness only makes the day longer and dreadful. One parent of multiple students told me that this was the best advice she received. Then she admitted she cried non-stop on the drive home – but managed to keep the happy face and tone with her student.
- Don’t overpack. Several parents mentioned that the rooms and storage space was much smaller than they imagined or remembered. Don’t worry about taking winter clothes now if you will be back to campus (or your student home) before the weather turns. Athens doesn’t usually see snow or extreme cold until late November.
- Don’t make a production of the goodbye. If this is your first student to college, it’s going to be hard. But experienced parents said that a quick retreat was better than dragging it out.
If you haven’t yet, be sure to read these posts – Real Talk: A Conversation Before They Leave Home on Relationships, Substances, Money, and How to Address an Envelope , 10 Don’t Forget Items Before Sending Them to College, and Sick in Athens: Options for Care.
Good luck! And remember that you aren’t alone in your feelings. Share your thoughts here or on our social media pages.
